I was recently relaying a story I heard many years ago, having enjoyed a sit by a wonderful log fire…which reminded me of the story.
 
The fire was in a delightful café I have been going to for more years than I care to remember (it is north of half a century!). A much-favoured place I usually enjoy visiting, having a quiet breakfast, coffee, lunch or afternoon tea.
 
The only occasions when I either avoid, or feel I should have avoided, is when it is full of the kind of tourist who most of us choose to avoid. The picture taking, knock people with their backpack, noisy, share a small pastry with 3 people and buy one coffee type.
 
On this visit it was relaxed with some lovely people enjoying the hospitality, the food/drinks, the ambiance of a building over 500 years old. And in most cases, each other’s company, with few digital devices on view.
 
Only a few years ago some people would get irritated as the thick stone walls meant there was no phone signal and certainly no Wi-Fi. Nowadays, all that is available; on this day few were interested in the ever-on distraction of the external world.
 
Anyway, back to the fire.
 
I was sitting close, the heat lovely on a crisp winter day. As you may know, most of the heat comes from the red embers rather than the flame. It is only when the fire settles, the logs truly burning, the real heat arrives. A close look at the picture and one can see the red embers, more will be hidden in the ash.
 
Someone had to put effort in to lay the fire, attend to it, then periodically add logs.
 
So now to the story I was sharing.
 
It was about a person who, on a cold day, was sitting in front of a log stove, shivering. There were logs aplenty stacked up nearby. Plenty of kindling and matches too. Yet sit and shiver they did.
 
In an almost aggressive voice, the person shouted at the stove: ‘Give me heat, then I will give you wood!’
 
Interesting and rather pointless one may surmise.
 
Yet in our society one does come across people who have a similar mindset. They are not prepared to put the work in and earn the reward, they want the reward first promising they will then put the effort in.
 
I once had a team member, who, when offered an interesting new challenge, put their hand out as if asking for money. They had not yet done anything. Another member of my team was also keen on the opportunity yet did not put their hand out – this is the person I gave the project to. One had the capability to do the job – the first. The other had the wish to grow – the second.
 
Not long afterwards I let the first person go. The second person did a splendid job, grew their capability and were duly rewarded. Years later we are still keep in touch.
 
How often does one witness the first type of person – give me first and then I will do something. The second type of person is rarer – I am willing to be of service and grow.
 
The difference is ATTITUDE.
 
Sometimes one has to use the person with the knowledge even if their attitude is not good. When one has the choice though, the person with the right attitude will often be the better choice as they are keen to develop, learn and grow.
 
So, a few questions:

• Where in life are you encountering people who want the heat first?
• What attitude do they have?
• How is this helping your organisation or life?
• Could you help them change their ways? (Sometimes people are too shy or frightened to ask for help…and a helping hand will be welcomed.)
• If they won’t change their ways how long will you put up with their attitude?

A tough question to end with: Is there any area of your life where you seek the heat first?
 
A useful story, I hope, to help fuel your thoughts and actions.
 
Someone wiser than I once said - if you are prepared to chop the logs for the fire first, you get warm twice!
 
Enjoy the heat.
 
Peter